K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
whose parrot is this?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
