It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
