i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
