omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
