i don't like sucking hair
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
