So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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