The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
