I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
