did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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