we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
