East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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