i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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