is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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