I heard we made out
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
