I want to walk on stilts...naked
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
