GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
