Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
