i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
