what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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