Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
