your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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