Plan B is the new Plan A
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
