the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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