I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
