Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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