I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
