He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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