yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize