So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
