People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Come see our sink grown plant.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
