He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
