I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
