Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it's like heaven, but drunker
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
