My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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