Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
