the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
