I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
