I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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