Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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(769): View more from Mississippi

she said she likes her vagina punished

(1-769): View more from Mississippi

being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

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(914): View more from New York

I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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(815): View more from Illinois

im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.

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(516): View more from New York

Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?

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