ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
