We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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