dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
