It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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