yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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