Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
