there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
