Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
