Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
BRING THE BAGELS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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