it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
