return my video game
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I die, sorry about rent.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
