After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
