ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize