I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize