I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
