You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
