I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
