You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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