Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
