No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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