im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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