shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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