he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
