i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
