Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
