if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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