I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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