You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i now understand why vodka
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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