Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
