What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
