I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You left your phone here
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