Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize