We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
