end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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