okay pat passed out under dana's car
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
