Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
