His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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