Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
