Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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