It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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