if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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