is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
