I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
