is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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