She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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