i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
