I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
