seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Found the puke drawer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
