even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Too much gin, very little bucket
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
