Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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